All You Need Is Love

Tonight a friend told me “If you don’t act, nothing will come out of it.” Or something to that extent. I really didn’t do much about it, but sitting here in my room by myself, I see that I should have done something. Maybe if I had done something, this night would have played out like my dreams or something like it. I may be just really weird, but I play scenes out in my head and “talk” to myself. I think about a situation and play both parties. Reality never plays out like it does in my head, and I end up with much disappointment. I also replay conversations that I have with other people. It helps me remember things, and I analyze the conversation. I’m a dork.

But anyways, I’ve been posting this a lot lately; I need to act. I’m too much like Hamlet over thinking everything rather than actually getting off my ass and doing something about it. My life has become what ifs. What if I had talked? What if I had done that? What if I had gone there? What if? I don’t want to live my life thinking what I could have done. I want to learn from my own mistakes and learn. Growing as a person comes from the mistakes that we go through.

Early this year, my English teacher gave us an assignment asking us to get our parents or loved ones to write us a letter of advice. I asked my older brother and sister knowing that they have gone through what I’m going through now. My sister’s was more humorous, but my brother’s brought me to tears in class. He gave me three pieces of advice along with other anecdotes:

1. If there is something that you have been wanting to do and have not done it, don’t wait, go out and do it!

2. Do not be afraid to make mistakes, embrace all opportunities as learning experiences.

3. Enjoy the moment!

I feel like I haven’t been living up to these pieces of advice even though I want to. I look back on these past few months and see that there are plenty of things that I wanted to do but didn’t because of a potential failure. And I definitely have not been enjoying every moment. I need to stop caring what other people think of me and just do what I want. In the end, the people who do judge me don’t matter and the people who love me and care for me won’t care.

Until next time…

I apologize for all of my mood swings. I don’t know why I go through them. I hate that I do. If I could, I would paralyze my tear glands. I would have control over my emotions. I would be a stronger individual. I would be able to speak what I think without doubting myself or feeling nervous.

I need to take action.